— Not Guilty – Six Word Story | (j.d.a)
— Not Guilty – Six Word Story | (j.d.a)
I have always thought I was a sheep,
And he was the wolf I have always been scared of;
Those twitching ears-
Those eyebrows scrunched at my every move.
And so I tried to keep to myself,
Be the little sheep that I assumed I was.
Driven by the herd,
Driven by my instinct,
Driven by my fear-
Driven by the blood coarsing through my veins.
And then he- not you, stepped up;
A howl in perfect pitch.
‘I am the wolf,’ he said,
And I realized there was nothing to be afraid of.
I am a fox, after all.
'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog'
Only, I wasn’t quick and he wasn’t lazy.
He caught me in his arms- I was falling down, you see,
But he caught me.
He saved me, he saved me-
Told me he was a wolf and I was his fox-
Told me I shouldn’t be scared of a lone wolf’s howl-
Told me he would make sure I was safe-
Safe from the big, bad, fake, lonely wolf.
Side by side, predator and predator,
He took me in as if I was his own.
A fox and a wolf- who would have thought?
Well, better than a wolf and his meal.
it was neither love
nor the tug of the strings of fate
it was more like
a little bit of electromagnetism
pulling together opposite charges
i was blue
he was yellow—
vibrant, shiny, not very mellow
maybe it was fate
maybe it wasn’t—
after all, who believes in luck?
nothing is ever real nowadays
without any scientific evidence—
that’s why i call it electromagnetism.
aching for a hug
but i cant
because i cant
because i still do
Siguro nga, mahal parin kita. Ewan ko ba. Pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari, pagkatapos kong umasa, pagkatapos kong masaktan, pagkatapos kong sabihin sa sarili ko na hindi na- wala na, hindi na pwede, wala akong karapatan… mahal parin kita.
Ewan ko ba.
Naalala ko noon. Akala ko ang sweet sweet mo, gabi-gabi tayong magkausap, pinagtatawanan ang mga bagay na sobrang babaw. Malaman-laman ko nalang na hindi lang naman pala ako yung kausap mo, sadyang friendly ka lang talaga at marami kang babaeng kausap. Naiintindihan ko naman yun, eh. Pero may iba eh.
Ewan ko ba. Hindi naman kasi ako mag-aassume kung wala namang iniimply. Siguro, ako yung may mali, baka iba yung naintindihan ko dun sa sinabi mo, or the other way around.
Nung malaman ko nalang yung… yun na nga, parang halos mamatay-matay nako sa sobrang sakit ng kirot dun sa dibdib ko. Ilang gabi rin akong hindi makatulog nun. Nagdadrama, pa-emo effect ang peg. Nag-iisip kung ano ang tama at dapat na gawin.
Ayun na nga. Napagdesisyunan ko na. Bibitawan kita— tutal, wala rin namang mararating. Masaya na ako para sa inyo. Sinakripisyo ko yung sarili kong kasiyahan para sa kasiyahan niyo. Kuntento nako dun. Mahaba pa naman ang buhay ko, iniisip ko. Well, sana mahaba pa ang buhay ko.
Tapos mapupunta sa wala yung sakripisyo ko. Umaasa nga ako na magiging masaya kayo eh— at least kahit papano nakatulong ako, diba? Pero, wala. Nakakalungkot. Hindi ako galit, hindi ako bitter. Yan yung mga bagay na nakakagulat. Nalulungkot lang talaga ako.
Nakukungkot kasi walang nangyari sa inyo. Yung relasyon na akala ko magbubunga sainyo, nawala ng parang bula. Mas mabilis pa yata sa lamok na tila di mapatay. Nalukungkot, kasi kinalimutan ko yung sarili ko para sa wala. Pero, mas mabuti narin siguro yun, no? At least hindi masyadong magulo yung mga nangyari.
Alam ko naman sa sarili ko na wala naman talaga akong pag-asa, pero hindi ko lang talaga maintindihan kung bakit ganito parin yung nararamdaman ko sayo. Hindi naman siguro panghabang-buhay to, noh? Mawawala din naman to, bibigyan ko lang ng onting panahon.
Sa ngayon, tiis-tiis na muna, Alex. Wag mo nalang palakihin pa— maglalaho rin yan ng parang bula. Kahit gaano man katagal yan, wala namang bagay na walang katapusan.
"How are you?"
His eyebrows raised as he heard it. It was an odd question, mainly because he doesn’t get asked that often. The last time he was asked with the same question was when he was on his way to the bookstore and he slipped on the wet pavement of the road. It hurt like hell, but when the security officer asked, he said he was okay. He later regret the book he bought that day.
It’s funny though, because a lot of people call him smart, like, book smart. They say that he knows the answer to everything like the square root of whatever number you can give or the sum of all the thing a person can do for someone; the distance of the sun to the earth or how far can someone be even if they’re inches away from you or even the most useless things nobody even care if they know like the term for the smell of someone’s perfume when they leave, or what you call the feeling when you’re about to say something but you forgot it, or what you call the hard stick at the end of a shoelace.
He knows a lot of things— how to comfort someone when they’re crying; what to and what not to say when someone’s emotionally vulnerable or what to do when someone’s obviously lying to you. But the thought of asking himself if he’s okay didn’t come to mind.
The reason, most likely why, is because he was raised in a home where being okay is a must. His parents never took notice if he was doing fine because they know he was an independent kid and most of the time he was buried in books, thinking he got everything managed. He grew having friends having the mindset that he’s always okay, that all he cares about are his grades and being on top or getting everything in the right place. He’s not in the right place.
That moment was the only time when someone asked him and he thought of the answer.
He sniff, blew a deep sigh and then smiled. That’s what he always do when he’s either about to tell a lie or has nothing much to say.
He tried but no words came out of his mouth.
He laughed as he was shaking his head. Everything was an utter disappointment.
Tears were falling down.
Hey there M’aiq, mommy loves you <3
Hey there little Luna :)
Masaya ka ba na nakikihati lang? Masaya ka ba na mag-antay sa kanya na makatakas mula sa gf o asawa nya? Haha masaya ka bang dahil sayo may isang babaeng nagmumukang tanga sa kaaantay ng mahal nya na akala nya busy sa trabaho at kung anu pang mahalagang bagay? Masaya ka ba na habang magkasama…
So what, you expect happiness to just come tumbling down into your arms? You think it’s that easy to actually feel great once in a while? Well, no, you’re wrong. Life isn’t always that easy. It fucks you up in ways that even experts would say impossible. There isn’t always a rainbow after the rain. Sometimes the clouds don’t clear up. Perhaps the wheel stopped rolling, the world stopped spinning, and you find yourself stuck in that one place where only you can save yourself, but you find out you can’t move and you can’t get away, and it messes you up so fucking bad. That’s life.