Pepsi Green <3
di ko lang masabi na ayoko na talaga sa ugali nila. wala na silang alam kundi ichismis ang buhay ng may buhay. pinagtatawanan nalang nila yung kung ano mang nakakatawa para sa kanila. yung parang araw-araw nalang akong nakakarinig ng panlalait galing sa kanila, para sa kung kani-kaninu man sa paligid nila.
"uy alam mo si ganito ginanyan si ano"
"oh talaga? wow ha ang ano naman ni ano"
"oo nga eh ang ano ano talaga ni ano. tapos is ano inaano si ano!"
"ay talaga? ew, ano. ang ano talaga ni ano."
ganyan. ganyan yung flow nung mga conversation nila lagi.
i don’t want to surround myself with people like that. i can do better than that, really. i might as well be on my own.
thank you. i desperately needed this. thank you very much.
natatawa nalang ako pag kasama ko sila tapos di nila alam na alam ko na tinatalkshit nila ako :)))))) mga lechugas kayo. napakabubuti talaga ng mga kaibigan ko. i feel so fucking loved. may ginawa ba akong mali sainyo? o talagang ako lang ang napag-isipan niyong pagdiskitahan? ano? tingin niyo ang taas-taas niyo? eh hindi niyo ngang magawang sabihin yang mga yan sakin sa harap ko eh :) sinong duwag ngayon? siguro sabihin na nating kunyari hindi ko alam. patuloy bang mangyayari yan sa likod ko? siguro oo. tingin niyo bobo ako eh. nirerespeto ko naman kayo. tinanggap ko naman kung sino kayo. pero bakit ganun? ramdam ko basurang basura yung trato niyo sakin. madalas naman inuuna ko kayo. yung mga pangangailangan niyo. kesho kelangan ni ganito ng ganyan, kesho may gusto si ganyan dun sa gusto ko…. lagi kong ipinagpapaubaya yung sarili ko. mas kailangan nila yun, lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko.
akala ko pa naman kayo yung mapagkakatiwalaan ko dito. yun pala, ginagawa niyo nalang akong katatawanan sa likod ko. maraming salamat, mga mumunting kaibigan. pinagmumukha niyokong tanga :) tutal, masaya naman kayo jan eh. bahala na, sige. gawin niyo pakong tanga. tingnan natin kung sinong tanga ang matatalo dito. leche kayo. lamunin sana kayo ng sarili niyong konsensya.
well, i was clearly wrong. shall i say goodbye again, say, clear a new slate?
It was 10 pm on valentine’s day, and i was standing outside your house, mooring over why i was there. a friend brought me there- it was unplanned, really. everything with you is unplanned. we were talking about how you and your confession earlier that day had went greatly. i was curious, and kind of disappointed. that was it? i had expected more. i thought you would sing her a song or something.
anyways, my friend had to remind me to lessen the sound of my pointless ramblings. you were probably sleeping, anyways, i know you always sleep early. you never would’ve heard how i said that i loved you.
i took a photo of a vacant parking space in your village, near your house. i wonder if you would ever notice.
here’s the picture.
SUPER LATE UPDATE:
you weren’t even there that night.
Sometimes you need to remind yourself that you were the one who carried you through the heartache. You are the one who sits with the cold body on the shower floor, and picks it up. You are the one who feeds it, who clothes it, who tucks it into bed, and you should be proud of that. Having the strength to take care of yourself when everyone around you is trying to bleed you dry, that is the strongest thing in the universe
hello, nothing much. literally, nothing much. my life has lately been a drab shade of grey, with maybe a little bit of red from time to time. i think i need a life hahahha
the cycle goes on. different names, different people, same thing that i had to sacrifice.
- Failing a test you studied really hard for
- Getting replaced in a friendship
- Getting ignored
- Having something that you’re looking forward to, get cancelled
- Having to fight back tears in front of people
- Finding out that the person you like, likes someone else
- Showing your parents something you’re proud of only to get a disinterested reply
That last one always breaks my heart.